anasuede:

 anasuede: Can you tell the difference between STD and STUD?

 De (anasuede  (Related)  anasuede ) wrote,

 @ 2007  (Related)  -04  (Related)  -26  (Related)   20:40:00

         

 Current mood:  ranty Entry tags:rants  (Related) 

 Can you tell the difference between STD and STUD?

 
OK, I know it's the all holy day, the day of "DO NOT HARSH MY SQUEE," the HAPPY HOTASS BROTHER day. But here are the rants you asked for the other day, keep in mind that I'm just using my arguing skills and I do not necessarily support the views and statements herein. I have to say though, this ranting thing? Is totally hard, and stuff.



 For without_me  (Related)  without_me  on "Artsy indie films vs. vanity projects by obscenely overrated psychotic wackjobs, and the choice to star in same."

 AKA Ten Inch Hero vs The Christmas Cottage

 or The Plight of Clownana vs New York Minute  I think the real question here is "Who's got the better manager?"



 Take The Christmas Cottage, for example. Crave online says,  "Cottage," inspired by the early life and art of the renowned painter, is the story of how a small community and an aging mentor come to the aid of a family to save the only home they have ever known; and along the way teach a young man the meaning of love, friendship and what it means to be an artist.  I assume the "young man" they speak of is supposed to be Thomas Kincaid (Jared) and how he learns all about love et. al., but the real Thomas Kincaid is a crazy fucker. Not only does his art supremely suck, he's lewd, disgusting, and a choice representation of "Christian Values." There are multiple lawsuits filed against him, sexual harassment charges, witnesses of him verbally vomiting at public venues, and he's been known to piss on things, like a DOG. On second thought, maybe Jared should star in  that  movie... Anyway couple that choice of film with "New York Minute" (because yes, I would say that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are obscenely overrated psychotic wackjobs that I wouldn't touch with a twelve foot pole) and I'd say the vanity projects have a slight edge. I also have to wonder if Jared researches his parts before he signs on to play them or if his manager the real wackjob. Of course, Jensen's not to be left out of this. "Ten Inch Hero" is financed entirely by private equity secured by Brave New Films and is about four friends deal with their love lives and learn about themselves while working in a funky sandwich shop in Santa Cruz, California. How marketable is that (and how many people have heard of it)? At least everyone and their mother knows about Kincaid, but not everyone is going to want to see a almost thirty-something hotass in a mowkawk. Nor are they going to want to watch a comedy short about Ishamel the Clownana, a dancing half-clown, half-banana store mascot. I can't even type that with a straight face. Is there even a market for that? AND JENSEN WAS THE PRODUCER. *sigh* So, I think the answer to the 'real question' is, it's a tie. While Jensen may have the opportunity to be in movies with a little more substance, movies that are more art, Jared's at least getting his name out there even if he does have to do some soul-selling-sucktastic films.



 For alanna_zero  (Related)  alanna_zero , on "LJ-friendships"  Let's just think about this people. How real can online friendships be? I mean, I know we live in a time of constantly evolving/improving technology and that trips across the state, country, even world are becoming easier and more affordable, but we're all still real people. Online friendships are typically cursory, often one-sided idolization, and lacking that certain je nes se quoi that you NEED with actual real life friendship. 'sides, how many of you actually  really  trust people you've never met? That's what I thought.



 For phaballa  (Related)  phaballa  on "why CMM is a total douche"  I have five words for you. Sophia Bush and Kenzie Dalton. But since five words don't constitute a rant... I think that the biggest thing for me is why his marriage to Sophia Bush didn't quite work out. (Which I'm sure she's secretly happy about, I mean who honestly would want to be married to Chad) Someone needs to learn what the 'disconnect' button on a cell phone is, and aside from that... OMGPARISHILTON? Jesus hell, Mayhem. Jared was on that set too, if you're going to go off and fuck up your marriage are you going to pick one giant STD or one giant STUD. I know the different is subtle and difficult to see when you're right up there in it, but next time, take a step back. View the bigger picture, the much bigger picture. Plus there's the fucking over of one Nick Carter, who as I've been informed, has has a pretty rough life. Dude. Fucking his girlfriend, the one with the lazy eye, is so not cool. And then? Next time, don't date someone who'll want to take you to her high school prom. You might play a high schooler on TV, but it's creepy in real life. Speaking of that. One Tree Hill? I can't even sit through one episode of that show, let alone... what like, six seasons? OH! And also, that tattoo? Is that in case you forget your initials? It might've been easier just to have your mom magic marker them in your drawers.



 For berrylicious877  (Related)  berrylicious877  on "The Search For the Next Pussycat Doll"  ASIA??? You have to be kidding me with this one. I would've gladly picked Melissa R., who has genuine sex appeal, a fantastic voice, and can dance like a star. I would've also been okay with Chelsea, especially since she got rid of that hideous red lipstick. Sure, they would've had to teach her how to dance, but she was always spot on with the music, but ASIA?!?! I know I've said this before but of all the people I could've chosen to be the next tramp on a stage, she would've been near the bottom of my list, which is why, I guess, I'm not the owner of a hit girls group. I've said this before and I'll say it again... That thing you do, when you're holding a mic? That one with the fingers? Only cool if you're going to be a lesbian and then... well, used sparingly and with a little bit of finesse. It's stupidly distracting and just not professional. And every time you sing I want to plug my ears. It sounds like you're squeezing every last ounce of umph you have left through a tiny hole in your nose. Also (and I know this one is going to get me in trouble) go home to your baby. She needs a mom, not a sex symbol.



 For impalalove  (Related)  impalalove  on "SPOILERS" The closer it gets to the end of any season of a show, more prevalent in SPN than others I think, the more there are spoilers littering the world of LJ. The first thing I want to emphasize here is learn how to use an LJ-cut, and if you don't know, ask. And if you don't have any friends to ask then, well, I'm probably not ranting at you because no one has seen your posts. Because God! I have, like, NO WILLPOWER to resist the shiny. You cannot just dangle an "I know this thing about episode whatever" in front of me because then I want to know TOO, and I DON'T want to know, you know? It's like just knowing will bring me some sort of special powers and it WON'T. So, just stop it with the spoilers. Don't run around in other people's journals spouting things in the comments about upcoming episodes, don't spout spoilers to people who come to yours, and quit posting spoilery pics without a cut. It's just NOT COOL or AWESOME or FUN or SHINY... it's mean and I won't begrudge anyone for defriending you.



 For wendy  (Related)  wendy  who says, "The irony of people who say they want to build LJ relationships yet they don't respond to comments or read their flist."  Unlike when Alanis asks the question, "isn't it ironic?" in regards to silverware, this is a real mockery of rapport among true blue LJ folk. Just saying that you want to be friends with someone isn't enough and frankly it's not cool. Though it may seem pretty fun at first when that someone "friends" you, after a while of no interaction, it just grates. You, my friend, are not Jared Padalecki with the blinding smile and infectious laugh, and people do not automatically love you. Nor will they be so forgiving that you can just flit about your journal making post after post without responding to comments or getting involved in other people's lives. And if they are, they're not friends, they're groupies. Plus telling the world about your one or two bffs and your oh-so-true-hetero-love-life-friendship all the time isn't enough to make up for the fact that you're lazy and rude. Yeah, I said it. Friendship requires time and effort. It's more than just agreeing with someone all the time, or supporting them, though that's important too. It's about a willingness to put yourself, your true blue self, out there for FRIENDS to see, not just a chosen one or two people, and receiving the other person in the same sort of intimate way. It's about honesty and trust and love and feeling a real connection with someone. It's not about being oz, where the yellow-brick road leads to you; it's about being Dorthy and taking every path, meeting everyone, and touching lives as you skip down the road with your friends, in your checkered dress and sparkly shoes.



 For pink_faerie81  (Related)  pink_faerie81  on "Winchesters," and lostandalone22  (Related)  lostandalone22  on "why haven't Sam and Dean hugged yet?" To quote an infamous contestant on America's Next Top Model cycle 7... "I KNOW, RIGHT?" Seriously, I know that boys as a general rule don't hug often, I accept that. And I know that Winchester men especially don't get all touchy-feely, which hello they need to remedy that, but this is just wrong. BOTH of the boys hugged Papa Winchester when they were reunited (and it feels so good) in the first season. Both of them were teary and emotional and so very into the huggng, so why not each other? I mean, the shit they go through every day, nearly dying, getting injured, being possessed... I think Sammy needs a hug, for sure. C'mon Dean, be a good big brother and just embrace your brother. They had the perfect set up too. Dean was in a coma for fuck's sake. When he came out of it there should've been on-the-bed-oh-my-god-you're-alive hugging. Their only family died, they burned Papa Winchester and just stood there. There should have been I-will-stand-by-you-forever hugs! Sam came back from being possessed by Meg!!! Again, where's the I'm-glad-you're-not-a-demon embrace?!?! So, writers? No love. No love until you give us one good winchester brothers HUG! DAMMIT!



 For danxsunday  (Related)  danxsunday  first said "Pineapples," then "you could rant on my behalf that I haven't got laid in MONTHS and it is just not GODDAMN RIGHT!!!"  First of all, PINEAPPLES? They're just not right. You have to have, like, a hacksaw to get to the amazing fruity goodness and then the center isn't even edible most of the time. So you spend time looking for a sharp enough knife to cut into the fruit only to be presented with not enough good stuff for the effort. Plus, they're really really hard to find ripe and fresh here in the desert. No love, Nevada. And then, people, this other matter? Is completely unacceptable. No one should have to go that long without getting laid, it's like, unnatural and stuff. Fucking is pertanent to long term health and wellness and is, by all accounts, a really good workout. Besides, Dan is a nice enough human being, albeit short on proper pick up lines, and he doesn't deserve this kind of suffering. He's a good LJ friend, and very open minded, and I'm guessing he won't drink all your beer. He's smart and charming and has, at least, some sort of a conscious and that counts for something. It really does. There should be dozens-- no! HUNDREDS of people lining up around the world to get with Dan and I can't believe that he's not fighting ya'll off with giant sticks. Go forth, remedy this problem.



 For cinnamon_sins  (Related)  cinnamon_sins  on "fandom wank. Quite possibly wincest vs non-wincest wank."  Okay Supernatural Fen... when you started watching this show, did you do it for the plot or the pretty boys? Uh huh. Our fandom clearly wins  because  of the incest, rps, and slash. Sure, I know that there are moral and religious objections about that whole pesky incest thing, but if you're that wound up about it, you probably shouldn't be watching a show about a family that commits fraud daily, runs from the law, hunts demons, and kills on a regular basis anyway. And besides that, when Dean's off getting his groove on with every Mary, Sue, and hot blond, it's not any better than if he WERE actually getting it on with Sam every night. It's still premarital sex, and I would argue that his relationships with the random women are worse than if he had a relationship with his brother. I mean, at least then it would be someone that he has to face the next day, someone who he wouldn't just walk away from, something that would be more than just a one night stand... something with some sort of significant meaning in his life. His SOUL MATE, if you will. The Winchester brothers might be saving the world from the evil ceiling demon, but there's no one to save them from the evil sibling sex, so they've just accepted that fact and we all should too. We're all thinking about it so! Ya'll just need to let it go. Sex is sex is sex and ya'll are here for the porning anyway. Don't pretend like you're not.



 for traffic_west  (Related)  traffic_west  on "Jared's hair."  JARED'S HAIR! Please people there are much better things to get your knickers in a twist about. His hair is awesome, all sort of wavy and long enough to grab in the heat of the moment. The only thing about Jared's hair that SHOULD be ranted about is this  (Related)  . DUDE! The facial scruff? So not working for you. It makes you look like a skeezy, scary, porn star, and not the good kind. In fact, it give you that sort of Chad Michael Murray douchebag vibe, and no one likes that look. Not even Mayhem fans, so do us all a favor and keep the scruff to a minimum. Actually, just shave. All the time. Please.



 For myself, anasuede  (Related)  anasuede  on "how being a woman truly and utterly sucks ass."  I present you with photographic evidence #1  (Related)   and #2  (Related)  , which made my shower look like a HORROR movie at SEVEN am. Plus, I bled all over the bathroom and in the hallway trying to get towels to wipe up the blood. SO! Shaving? Is suck of the highest order. THEN!!! THEN!!! GOD, the world of feminine hygiene  (Related)  !!! Who in their right mind wants to shove a wad of fucking cotton up there? It's not comfortable or easy. It doesn't adjusts to custom fit your body for unbeatable wearing comfort. It's a cylinder of Rayon, Polysorbatre-20, and Fragrance with a Polyester or Cotton string. NOT COOL! Did you get that bit about the FRAGRANCE?!?!! Like it's okay to stuff us with absorbent material and then use something to make us smell better. GRRRR! And yet another choice of protection  (Related)   leaves you feeling like you're wearing goddamn diaper and AGAIN WITH THE FRAGRANCE! And when that's not enough there's always Douches and Feminine Sprays in case we can't figure out how to keep our vaginal areas clean. And, like, cunts are NOT SUPPOSED to smell like flowers and perfume, they're supposed to smell like VAGINAS. Besides, the truth is, under usual circumstances, no one ever smells any odors from a girl's vagina. Then there's the cramps and the birthing of children, which, OW! And the makeup and high heels and doing of the hair and SRSLY!!! WHEN WILL IT STOP!!!!????!?

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